


it's just you

by mytsukkishine



Series: kakairu for the soul [18]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Feels, Cheating, Hatake Kakashi Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Iruka's affair isn't show but the changes in their relationship is, Kakashi Didn't Know, M/M, POV Hatake Kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:08:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26460931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytsukkishine/pseuds/mytsukkishine
Summary: And as the colors of their love slowly fade along with their promises, Kakashi was too blinded by the thought of his boyfriend and best friend getting along too well.Kakashi only wanted a happy family, where his best friend could be part of it. Who would've thought it would all come crashing down to this?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Uchiha Obito & Umino Iruka
Series: kakairu for the soul [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629499
Comments: 20
Kudos: 53





	it's just you

**Author's Note:**

> summary sucks aha!  
> but yeah, warning, all them feels!  
> it's completed but not really, you'll get my point if you read at the end ^^
> 
> big thank you to [Kitera_Matar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitera_Matar)! she helped me look over this ;A; she caught all the feelings first haha - and also Hades :p  
> thank you Kit, and to my sprinting buddies at the Umino Hours Discord! 
> 
> all other errors are on me, I added some scenes she didn't get to check ^^
> 
> _enjoy!_
> 
> note: i tried so hard to make characters all lovely, and please note I do not hate Iruka or Obito, or the ship itself okay? I just like the idea of this story!

_'Di ko napansin na lumalayo ka na sa 'kin_ _  
_ _Wala akong kamalay-malay_ _  
_ I didn’t notice that you were drifting away from me  
I was unaware  
  


Kakashi thought about how Obito would live his new life here at Konoha after the war. His best friend, whom he assumed to be dead was alive, and in the end, he came back to their side. Fought by his side. And as he stood over the monument with him, Kakashi swore he'd do anything to help Obito live normally once more. 

But he didn't know involving Iruka would be a part of it. 

After the war, Obito had spent two years in rehab and under T&I, healing both his mind and soul. Kakashi stood beside him, defended him from the people who were against his idea of letting Obito stay, because who wouldn't, right? Madara's right-hand man in Konohagakure? The person who helped kill thousands of their brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers? 

However, Kakashi stood strongly and promised to be responsible for Obito, like how he also took responsibility for Sasuke's return. Admittedly, Kakashi was aware he wouldn't be that strong to support both his student and friend, but with Iruka by his side, he knew all things were possible. 

"This is Iruka, my lover." Kakashi smiled shyly, one hand over Iruka’s lower back while his other scratched the back of his neck. It’s perfect, really. Not once in his life had he thought that he’d be able to introduce Iruka to someone that saw him grow, to someone he considered family. To someone from his team. But here they were, talking about how they met whilst Kakashi tried his best not to flicker away from embarrassment because he wasn’t used to this. 

Later that night, as he snuggled in Iruka's embrace, Kakashi told him how happy he was that Iruka got to meet Obito. Iruka said the same. 

Time passed by too quickly and Kakashi found himself looking around Obito's new apartment. Fortunately, since Obito had been considered well enough behaved -by volunteering in helping the community and such- his friend was granted clearance and thus, the new apartment given to him. He still wasn’t allowed to wander outside of Konohagakure, and was still tailed by ANBU, but it was enough. 

Kakashi had taken a day off just for this day, helping him settle in- glad at how lively Obito has been lately. The Rokudaime then gently laid down a box full of cutleries as his friend called out for him.

"Iruka told me this is a good kind of tea," Kakashi looked at the tea Obito was talking about, and yes, it was Iruka’s favorite tea in his hand. 

Oh, the joy he felt knowing his lover and friend got along pretty well! 

"Well, you're right. I also love that tea."

"He knows a lot of stuff. He's a nice guy," Obito stared at the tea for a moment before gently putting it down. “He also offered me a job at the Academy library.”

“Oh, wow. That’s nice, Obito!”

And as he returned to his office, Kakashi wondered how to celebrate Obito’s new job.

"We should invite Obito-san!" Iruka suggested, eyes glued to the food he was cooking. Kakashi smiled and made his way towards his lover, wrapping his arms around his waist tightly. 

"That's a great idea," Kakashi said and dropped a kiss on his temple. "He told me how you two talk frequently. He really enjoys working at the library." He watched as Iruka stirred the miso soup before turning off the stove. Iruka then turned around, arms coming up to wrap themselves around Kakashi’s neck. 

"He's a charm at the library. He helps the kids read more." 

"Well, isn't that good news? At least now he has found his solace." 

_At dahan-dahang nawalan ng kulay ang aking mundo_ _  
_ And now the colors in our world are slowly fading

Ever since then, at any opportunity given, Obito was invited to join them for dinner. It was bliss. Something surreal for Kakashi. He wouldn't trade it for anything for in the world. With Iruka beside him, laughing and telling him how his day went, and with Obito on his opposite side listening and interjecting at any given moment, it was heaven. Home to be exact. 

Kakashi was home. 

However, he couldn't help but notice that when he returned from the kitchen after clearing up the plates, there was this awkward silence between Iruka and Obito.

"Everything good?" He asked as he put the damp cloth on the table and started wiping away. Obito cleared his throat in return, said his thank you before explaining that he needed to go home. After a couple more insistences from Kakashi that he could stay longer, Obito finally said goodbye and left. 

Kakashi then turned to face Iruka after closing the door, "Did something happen?" Kakashi questioned, "He suddenly seemed bothered." 

"I honestly don't have any idea."  
  


~~*~~  
  


Kakashi smiled warmly, one hand holding the door open as his other waved towards his best friend and lover - two important people in Kakashi’s life. 

The Rokudaime decided that since he was given some free time, he wanted to have lunch with Obito. It’s been a while since Kakashi saw him, both of them busy with their own lives and work. 

Once Kakashi arrived at the Academy, he was surprised to find Iruka and Obito talking animatedly, looking all happy with whatever topic they’re chatting about. 

But the thing was, Iruka’s hands held Obito’s. 

“Yo!” Kakashi called out happily, flashing his infamous eye smile. He saw how Iruka quickly let go of Obito’s hand before skipping his way towards him, adorning that smile Kakashi loved so much. 

“Kashi! You’re here!” Iruka beamed as he snaked his arms around Kakashi’s waist, pulling the silver-haired man closer to him. “You’re not skipping work, right?” Iruka gave him a stink eye which earned him a light chuckle from Kakashi.

“No- no, don’t worry. I’m not. Shikamaru had been kind. I actually went here to invite Obito for lunch, but I didn’t expect you to be here,” Kakashi leaned down to drop a kiss on Iruka’s lips, “What are you two talking about?” He asked before averting his gaze back to Obito, who was just standing there, looking at them with eyes Kakashi couldn’t quite read. 

“Obito-san was telling me about your childhood and his! You have a lot to tell me!” And as Iruka continued to talk, Kakashi gave Obito a smile. 

Obito smiled back with a wave before disappearing through the big shelves. 

In the end, he didn’t get to have lunch with Obito, but at least Iruka was with him. 

~~*~~

Another month had passed and it was hectic at the Hokage’s office. Kakashi barely saw his friend and lover, and when he did, Iruka was either asleep or at work. Both of them had a lot to do especially since Iruka was the newly appointed headmaster of the Academy. Kakashi was proud of him, and Iruka deserved being the new headmaster because no one cared for the children more than him. 

"I only wanted the chunin exams to be postponed for two months, not a year," Iruka said through gritted teeth, not minding the other people from different departments inside that continued to give him disapproving looks. It was true that after the war, they hadn’t continued any activities regarding new ninjas since all Nations were pretty vulnerable right at that moment. Even after two years, some were still building themselves up. And now, Konohagakure was ready to open themselves up for new aspiring ninjas, but of course, Iruka didn't want any of it yet. 

"I'm saying this because we lack the equipment and teaching materials. How many students are we teaching per class? Per training? The training grounds were one of the few last priorities, and students only use two training fields as they waited for the five more to be built. I only asked for an extension so we could—" 

"Okay, I’ve heard enough." Kakashi interrupted before all hell broke loose. As much as he wanted to hear more of Iruka's reasons, he also didn’t want him to look bad in front of the others. Kakashi did not stop Iruka because he was embarrassed, no. He just didn’t want Iruka to be on anyone's bad list. After dismissing all of them and announcing that the results would be known later on, Kakashi couldn't help but feel guilty at the mean look Iruka gave him.

Later that night, as he sent out his final decision to all of the departments that the chunin exams would continue, Iruka wouldn’t even look him in the eye as they got ready to sleep.

"Did I do something wrong?" Kakashi slurred, eyes closing shut as Obito tried to pry away the shot glass from his hand. It had been a day since Iruka decided to avoid him. What could he do? He couldn't possibly go against the council and agree with Iruka. He has councils and people from different departments surrounding him, all have their own set of views and opinions, and as much as he agreed with Iruka, he wasn't entirely right. It had been two years, they needed chunins and jounins. And the students no longer wanted to be just genins. 

"Talk to him, Kakashi," Obito suggested and Kakashi looked up at him only to be greeted by a dazed Obito looking everywhere elsewhere but at him. Lately, Obito seemed distracted. Kakashi didn’t mind but he was worried. He tried to ask why, but his friend only avoided the topic every chance he got. 

Was he a bad friend? Kakashi thought as he tried to reach for his shot glass once more, only to be denied by Obito. He wasn't even that drunk yet, couldn't they just give their Rokudaime a break? 

"Kakashi," Obito started, eyes clearly on his face but not meeting his eyes. "Iruka-san is a nice person, he’s very understanding and well..."

“Hm, you’re right...”

“And he’s the kindest. He’s actually the first person, other than you, to not look at me like I was trash.” Kakashi saw from the corner of his eyes how Obito’s lips turned into a small smile that Kakashi couldn’t help but release a chuckle. 

Kakashi sat up straight and patted Obito’s shoulder, “He’s the most understanding and accepting person that I know. He accepted Naruto, and he has somehow accepted me, so be assured that Iruka’s a real friend.”

Silence covered the two once more except for Kakashi's occasional hiccups. It wasn't long until Obito turned to face him, his expression serious and Kakashi tried his best to maintain his balance as Obito spoke. 

“Kakashi, I- I want to tell you something,”

"Whatever it is, it’ll be fine. I mean, you accepted me to be your friend again, and you accepted who I love," Kakashi beamed under his mask, head tilted to the left as sleepiness slowly dawned on him. Obito smiled, but that smile wasn't the same one he saw back when he was granted pardon. 

Something was hidden in it and Kakashi wanted to find out more about it. But of course, Obito was as secretive as Kakashi was. It might take Kakashi weeks to know what’s behind that smile.

Obito just scoffed, told him he would tell him some other time, and that they had enough and should go home. Kakashi whined in return but chuckled as Obito pushed him out of the bar.

Somehow, Kakashi made it home without injuring both himself and Obito. Iruka opened the door for them and quickly gathered Kakashi in his arms, and bid thanks and goodbye to Obito, Kakashi looking at them as they all stood there awkwardly before he was taken back to their room. 

"I can't believe you're drunk! And you burdened Obito by making him drag you all the way-" Kakashi shut him off by hugging him, trapping Iruka with his arm around his waist while the other circled his neck. He breathed in Iruka's scent. He missed him so much and he was so sorry that he couldn't side with him against the council.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi muttered, his nose buried on those brown locks, "my love, I'm sorry…" 

Iruka sighed but then he also wrapped his arms around Kakashi's waist, pushing away the annoying robe. They stayed like that for a moment before Iruka looked up and then his lips were on Kakashi, heavy breaths following after. 

Kakashi closed his eyes, burying his face in the crook of Iruka's neck as he snapped his hips against him, the tight heat around him seemed to swallow him whole and Kakashi couldn’t help but groan out in pleasure. 

Iruka felt so good. 

"I love you," Kakashi managed to utter between sharp intakes of breath, hips still pounding, emitting a moan from his lover below. Kakashi groaned, his hold around Iruka tightening as his thrusts became frantic. 

Both men breathed out each other's name as they came down from their high, panting heavily as Kakashi pulled out and laid beside his lover. 

After a minute of silence, Kakashi expected them to fall asleep right away, but it seemed like Iruka had other plans because he quickly hopped up on Kakashi’s stomach and leaned down. Iruka kissed him hungrily, his lips moving languidly so that Kakashi couldn't help but groan as Iruka moved back, their spent and sensitive arousals touching.

"I love you," Iruka said once he pulled back, eyes filled with unshed tears. Kakashi's heart skipped a beat, hands coming up to push some strands away so he could see Iruka’s face clearly. 

Kakashi smiled, "I love you, too." 

He doesn't know what's behind that teary smile, but all he knew was that he loves Iruka so much he doesn’t want to let him go. 

  
_Ba't nagkaganito_ _  
_ _Sa'n ba nagsimula ang gulo_ _  
_ Why did it end up this way?  
When did this mess started?

~~*~~

"You know, something good happened today," Kakashi said and gave a soft thank you to Iruka, who helped him take off his robe. Today was one of those rare days that he got to go home early. Shikamaru had blessed him by volunteering to attend a meeting without him, and of course, Kakashi wouldn't miss out on the few extra hours of free time. 

"What happened?" Iruka asked back and led the way to the kitchen, smiling a little as Kakashi chased him by wrapping an arm around his waist. 

"Well, I stumbled upon Obito on the way home and guess what! He made new friends,” Kakashi informed happily, taking a seat at the table just like how Iruka instructed, “And I got some juicy stuff, apparently our Obito has a crush.”

Kakashi blinked in surprise when Iruka suddenly dropped the spoon he held. 

“Iruka?” 

“S-sorry, continue…” He watched with keen eyes as Iruka picked up the spoon and threw it in the sink. Deciding that nothing was out of the ordinary with Iruka - probably just stress from the Academy, Kakashi continued to tell him how Obito’s new friends told him that Obito has a new-found love. Every time they see him at the library, he’s always spacing out, and whenever they ask him about it, he would blush to no end.

“Do you know anything?” 

“What?” Iruka answered back as he put two plates on the table. 

“About who Obito likes. They said you two talk frequently at the Academy,” 

Iruka took a seat in front of Kakashi, clearing his throat in the process. “Well, we talk but he hasn’t mentioned anything about it…” Kakashi stared at Iruka for a few seconds before nodding. 

“Well, he was secretive even before. But soon, I will get that name out of his lips.”

~~*~~  
  


_Akala ko hindi na sasablay_ _  
_ I thought nothing could go wrong  
  


Obito had been avoiding him. He could feel it. Sensed it even. Every time he went out and happened to run into him he would say a generic excuse before dashing off. He once tried to visit him at the Academy library but was distracted when Iruka kissed him senseless and dragged him all the way to the Headmaster’s office. 

And today, he was once again given the freedom to roam around thanks to Shikamaru. His young advisor said he needed it, Kakashi had been stressed the last few days due to the upcoming chunin exams next week, and also because in these past few days, Iruka had been acting weird. 

He knew it might be his fault. He hadn’t been home for a while. He always stayed overnight at the office, either passing out from exhaustion or just busy being buried alive by the paperwork. But today, he wanted to see Iruka. Kakashi missed him so much. He only got to give Iruka a few kisses every other night and only if he saw him awake, so it wasn’t enough. He missed holding him, keeping him on his lap. 

Eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner with him. 

Since he’s at the Academy, and Obito also worked there, it’d be like hitting two birds with one stone. He’d get to visit Iruka, and also see Obito. 

Perfect. 

But as soon as he passed by the Academy grounds, he quickly felt Obito’s chakra and also Iruka’s. Thinking that they were probably hanging out, Kakashi jumped up to the open window, eyes slanted up and ready to say hello, but paused when a sight he didn’t know was possible greeted him. 

He quickly made himself unnoticeable. 

Ever since Kakashi was young, he had been under the shadow of his father. The White Fang, a strong and great shinobi that unfortunately, took his own life. Ever since then, everyone expected perfection from him— Kakashi, the Copy-nin and friend killer. He didn’t stop being the perfect shinobi that he was, he kept fighting, kept killing, kept avoiding being like his father.

But Iruka was the one who told him he was enough. That he didn’t need to dirty his hands more to make himself a hero. He didn’t always need to be a prodigy in this story.

He was enough. 

But now, as he saw how Obito cupped Iruka’s cheeks gently, he wondered, was he really enough?

“I’m sorry, Iruka-san…”

“Obito,” Iruka said, lips trembling as his eyes started to pool with tears.

“I should’ve not kissed you. I should’ve not embraced you. I- I can’t do this to Kakashi and you. I’m sorry for my selfishness.”

“Obito-”

“You’re so kind to me, Iruka-san. Why didn’t I- why couldn’t I just...” And as Obito’s words died down, Kakashi’s world crumbled. 

He watched as Obito pressed his lips against Iruka’s and then- then Kakashi’s vision went red as his hand started to crackle with electricity. “What are you--!” Kakashi growled, heat crawled up his face as anger spiked up within him. He moved forward, eyes trained on the two as tears welled up. 

Obito’s head snapped towards his direction, eyes wide and painted with shock. A gasp from Iruka followed, and Kakashi’s heart broke into a million pieces as only one thought ran through his mind. 

He’s not enough. 

Not enough for Iruka. Not enough for anyone. 

“Kakashi!” Iruka’s tear-stained eyes landed on him, and Kakashi watched as Iruka stumbled on his way towards him. Iruka grasped his arms hard, the robe he wore crinkling under his tight grip, and gave no damn if he almost touched the electricity from his hand.

Iruka was stopping him from nearing Obito. Trying to calm him down by talking, explaining to him what happened, and continuing to deny the deed they had done. But Iruka’s words fell on deaf ears, eyes locked on Obito who seemed to be avoiding his gaze at the moment. 

He loved him like a brother, a comrade. 

But this…

“Kakashi, please…” Kakashi finally looked down at Iruka and saw those beautiful brown eyes filled with tears that continuously flowed down scarred cheeks. 

Kakashi loved Iruka’s eyes. 

The electricity quickly died down and Kakashi found himself cupping Iruka’s cheeks. He looked in Iruka’s eyes, searching to see if they were still the same ones he had loved before. If they were still the ones that looked at him dearly.

He wondered if they had even looked at him with love in the first place. 

“Kakashi…”

  
  


_Kung gustong umalis, walang magagawa_ _  
_ If you want to go, I can’t do anything about it  
  
  
  


And Kakashi wasted no time flickering himself away. Ran and ran until he ended up back at his office, panting, and sweaty. Shikamaru was the first one to see him, stunned to see him back so soon. 

Kakashi paid him no attention as he called out for all of his ANBUs present. He instructed them to guard the door and let no one in - even Iruka. 

He then asked Shikamaru to leave him for a moment, along with the two ANBUs in the room. Once they were gone, all the papers and scrolls he spent hours organizing on his desk flew onto the floor, littering all over and some even managed to fly out the window, but Kakashi couldn’t care less. 

A great tremor took him over, his chest tightening as big fat tears escaped his eyes, dampening his mask. 

How could they do this? How could he be so naive?

Kakashi pulled his mask down, tears still flowing freely as his fist met the table below and created a long crack before breaking it in two. He felt angry with himself, with Obito-- with the situation they were currently in. 

How did he not notice sooner? The way Obito talked about Iruka, how he looked up at him, how serene he sounded when mentioning him.

How Iruka called Obito without the ‘san’ anymore. 

Kakashi wanted to vomit for not only seeing his best friend with his lover, but because of all the mixed emotions inside of him, and the fear of betrayal from the two people he cared for the most.

Who could he blame? Iruka wasn’t hard to love. But this- he didn’t know they were capable of doing that, especially Iruka.

Kakashi felt suffocated, the office suddenly becoming too humid as his whole world shrank at the thought of them doing something more than kissing. A sob escaped Kakashi’s lips. At this point, he wanted to--

He then heard voices from outside the door. It was Iruka. And he was crying as he begged an ANBU to let him in. Usually, when Iruka visited, no matter what the situation was he’d always be allowed to enter. Always allowed to touch Kakashi, embrace him. He allowed Iruka to see him unreservedly. 

When an ANBU appeared by the door, ready to ask Kakashi for permission, the ANBU stopped once his gaze landed on Kakashi’s tear-streaked face. Without any further questions, Tenzou quietly cast a noise-canceling ward in the room and left him alone. 

Kakashi didn’t know how long he was in his office, had no idea how long he had been wreaking havoc. Kakashi wanted to kill, to destroy anything just to numb the pain he was feeling.

But as he stared at Minato’s picture on the wall, he saw his sensei looking at him as if to say he shouldn’t do this anymore. That he should stop and be the Rokudaime once more. 

Kakashi screamed, a chidori adorning his right hand as he sliced up his own picture on the wall. 

Half of his portrait landed on the floor with a loud thud, and Kakashi followed soon thereafter. Sliding down on the floor as his eyes scanned the wreck he had made out of his office. He closed his eyes tiredly, his head spinning and his heart continuing to break as the image of Obito and Iruka kissing replayed in his mind like a broken mantra.

At least he didn’t have the Sharingan anymore.

At this point, he doesn’t know if he’d be able to make things go back to the way they used to be. The way he used to be. He had endured a lot of jutsus thrown at him, tolerated any type of kunai from big to small, but this- his Iruka. The light of his life was becoming someone else’s.

Kakashi sniffed, one hand coming up to rub at his sore eyes as his other reached out for the broken desk. He then pulled out something from his secret compartment, something he had thought of so excitedly back then.

Glassy eyes glanced down at the small box in his palm, opening it gently and a small gold ring glistened before him. 

He thought he’d be able to give it to Iruka soon. But then again, he thought wrong. He was always wrong. 

Kakashi would never be enough. 

_Akala ko ay ikaw na'ng binigay_ _  
_ I thought you were the one given to me

  
_Akala ko ikaw na_  
I thought you were the one

**Author's Note:**

> hello! Yes, i know the ending is a cliffhanger! I'm honestly nervous posting this lmaoo
> 
> please do tell me what you think!! it would be an honor to receive all your feels, be it screaming or not~
> 
> thank you again for reading!  
> if you have any ideas to further this story, i'm open! hmu in my socials!
> 
> reach me through hereeee ~ i don't bite :3c  
> [tumblr](https://mytsukkishine.tumblr.com/)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/mytsukkishine%22%22)  
> discord: mytsukkishine#7169  
>    
> _take care and stay hydrated lovelies!_
> 
> song inspired by: [Akala by Marion Aunor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHy_1tDcdHQ)


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